Hello Patron!
The historic day of love is upon us! Let us bask its rays, dance in the glory that be this celebration of romantic devotion. Cling to that significant other! Shower them with praise! Send them my newsletter! Show them you care.
Valentine’s Day Ephemera
The Day Of Valentine has, contrary to popular belief, been a beacon of capitalism for a very long time, and has been a day associated with romantic love since the 14th century (thanks, Chaucer). So yes, it is a Hallmark Holiday, but no, it is not the modern times that is getting us down.
I think it is too easy to discount Valentine’s Day! Not because I’ve suddenly become a romantic, but because it is such an easy target—what with the bizarre date ideas and the depressing gift listicles. Yes, it is a filthy tool of capitalism, but it is a somewhat harmless reminder to show care to people who care for us, whether that be a romantic partner or otherwise. Tell someone you love them today!
I also find a singular joy in bad Valentine’s Day cards, but that is just a bonus.
So, Basically, Incredibly, here are some Inspired (and some not so inspired)
Rat Recs!
To Watch
Up first is a video to help you get ready for that hot date later, or at the very least secure the date. And by that I mean a flawless makeup tutorial for whatever the world may throw at you.
And this one is just funny. I will give you no context!
And, for those that crave a good, bad Rom-Com this fine evening, may I present:
A fun drinking game bonus: Drink every time the main character mentions Ice Cream, and every time a new subplot is introduced!
Now that we’ve covered the humor (Ha! Hahahaha!), let us move into the mess that is
To Read!
First up is a poem called “Half-Light” by the great Frank Bidart! I won’t call it a love poem— though it is a poem I love—but I wouldn’t say that it isn’t. I think it is the kind of declaration someone makes about a love lost. So it might be a heartbreak poem, but it is also a lot of things, besides.
When I tell you that all the years we were
undergraduates I was madly in love with you
you say you
knew. I say I knew you
knew. You say
There was no place in nature we could meet.— “Half-Light,” Frank Bidart
And since we are on the topic of not-quite-love, have you heard of “Ask A Fuck-Up”? It’s the advice section of The Outline—yes, I know, I am obsessed with The Outline, thanks for noticing!—and it is wonderfully judgmental in the way that someone who has lived and learned deserves to be. There are posts that are heartwarming, some that are heartbreaking, and a few good takedowns thrown in for fun. Also some genuine life advice for those who need it.
May I draw your eye to exactly two more article? Please, mutter ‘yes’ under your breath, because I’m going to regardless.
The first of the last is “Four Flowering Plants That Have Been Decidedly Queered,” which delves into how a single poem can impact the entire meaning of a flower. I think that’s powerful! Beautiful even! And not unlike one of my favorite articles of all time, entitled “Please, My Wife, She’s Very Online,” in which one woman tries to examine her relationship with the word ‘wife’—and it absolutely does touch on Borat, because how could it not?
And on that note,
❤️ Thanks for Reading! ❤️
I know this newsletter barely scrapes past narcissistic indulgence — but you’ve signed on anyway! This is my love language.
FINEST REGARDS,
The Rat
BONUS: Rat News
This photo of mice fighting in the London Underground won a wildlife photography poll. While it is a superb photo, it’s just ridiculous! Everyone knows that subways belong to the rats! And yet, here we are, celebrating plebeian mice! Something has gone wrong, I don’t know what, but I will get to the bottom of it.